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You bark shopping lists at each other, discuss who's picking up from ballet, argue over the washing up and accuse each other of losing the gas bill.But you very rarely indulge in the kind of rambling, inconsequential, flirtatious nonsense that makes you delight in each other's company: the long conversations that put the world to rights and make you realise why you got together in the first place.Recently, a social dating network called the Asian Dinner Club introduced a new service, setting up "surprise dream dates" for married couples (with each other, I hasten to add – not some kind of wife-swapping experiment). Home is, of course, wonderful but it's more about tea and The Archers than a fluttering kaleidoscope of colour. Fear can be good when you're walking past an alley at night or when you need to check the locks on your doors before you go to bed, but it's not good when you have a goal and you're fearful of obstacles.Marriages aren’t just the union of two people, it is beyond that.